WHERE'S MY SUPERMAN MOVIE.....

 With trailers and images starting to trickle out for the new Superman flick 'Man of Steel' it's starting to look like we'll be getting a big screen Supes we've never had before, Superman the 'action hero' and it's about time it's just a shame we'll have to trudge through yet another origin story to get there. Who doesn't know the origin of Superman. With the success of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy the idea of making superheroes 'dark&gritty' looks like it might be getting a second wind whether it fits the character or not. the latest Spider-Man flick (complete with unnecessary origin story) was routinely described by it's director and cast as being 'grounded' as though this was something to be excited about (to quote my favorite Spider-Man artist John Romita in the documentary 'Once Upon a Time the Super Heroes!' "If you make him standing on the ground you've wasted Spider-Man") despite the success of Marvel Comics other properties (which led to the the Avengers movie) showing that it was OK to be faithful to the characters cartoon roots and handle them with a lighter touch putting emphasis on action rather than melodrama. Although I have hi hopes that Zack Snyder's Man of Steel will deliver here's my 2 bit idea for a no nonsense 'Man of Steel' flick.....

Shot 1: The credits scroll Star Wars style informing the hand full of coma victims who don't already know, who Superman is where he came from and why.
Shot 2: As Clark Kent (Matt Bomer) and Lois Lane (Rose Byrne) make their way through the streets of Metropolis (exchanging witty banter) a sudden bolt of energy rips through the city causing havoc.

Shot 3: amongst the chaos a silence grips the panicking crowds and the entire city looks up to the sky as a vast alien mother ship reveals itself.
(by this point we are at least 10 minuets in to the picture)
Shot 4: Clark runs into a phone box pulling his shirt open to reveal the 'S' symbol and in a flash he emerges in the full classic blue, red and yellow costume (including his red trunks) and takes to the sky to confront the alien ship.
Shot 5: Inside the ship Lex Luthor (John Travolta) informs Brainiac (as seen in Action Comics *868 and played by John Malkovich) that his plan has worked and that Superman is on his way.

Shot 6: Brainiac turns to General Zod ( Gerard Butler, dressed in a black and white variation of Superman's costume) and tells him to destroy the son of Jor-El.

For the next 90 minuets there is nothing more than all out war between Superman and Zod which goes from one side of the solar system (with occasional cuts back to Metropolis) to the other during which one or two other heroes (Green Lantern [Nathan Fillion], Martian Manhunter [Dwayne Johnson]...) show up but fail to stop the Kryptonian rampage which eventually ends with Superman punching Zod through the moon.
The final shot has Superman returning to metropolis, battered and broken but ready to confront the alien ship only to find Metropolis in ruins with Lex Luthor and Brainiac waiting for him with Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen (played by 55 year old Marc McClure) locked in a cage made of Kryptonite and guarded by a 15ft tall Doomsday. As Superman lands on the rubble of Metropolis and faces off to his enemies the 1988 Batmobile can be seen pulling into view just over his shoulder, the words "to be continued" fill the screen as it fades to black.....the end.

TESTIFY....you know you want it...ooft.

SHUTTER ISLAND, the best BATMAN movie never made....

 Arkham Asylum mock poster by Kev Harper.

I recently watched Shutter Island for the first time and immediately noticed more than a few connections  with Batman which, in much the same way Pink Floyd's Darkside of the Moon syncs up with Wizard of Oz allowed me a glimpse at the kind of Bat flick I suspect someone like Christopher Nolan would have liked to make if he was given complete free reign over DC's biggest cash cow.
The most obvious between the two is of course the institutions themselves, it doesn't take the worlds number one bat freak to connect Shutter Island and Arkham Asylum but it is strange how Scorsese's picture and the video game by Rocksteady Studios (both of which where released in 2009 although Shutter Island didn't get a full release till 2010) look so similar from being set on an island, the interiors of some of the buildings and both even have hidden caves located on the sides of inaccessible cliffs. But what are the other similarities that make this the greatest bat flick never made (the following contains spoilers)...

Think of Leonardo DiCaprio's character as Bruce Wayne: A detective who comes to the island to solve a crime only to find that he is the number 1 nut case due to a traumatic incident in his past involving the deaths of his family.

 He is accompanied by his side kick who is aware of his insanity but wants to help his college which makes Mark Ruffalo  Dick Grayson....

 The Asylum is run by two doctors one of which favors the psychological approach which would make Ben Kingsley, Hugo Strange...

 While Max Von Sydow plays a doctor more interested with drugs and lobotomy not unlike the Scarecrow (Dr. Jonathan Crane)

The hero is haunted by hallucinations of a woman played by Michelle Williams which make him act out in a manner which can be violent or debilitating. In Shutter Island she's his wife but on Bat Island this makes her Poison Ivy...

It also worth pointing out that in the film she wears a floral print dress and in a scene in which she is shown to have a hollowed out back, IMDB noted this could be an intentional reference to the Huldra (Skogsra) who are wood nymphs in Norwegian mythology that seduce men and eventually turn into trees...

DiCaprio's character also where's a floral tie given to him by his wife in the comics people under Poison Ivy's influence are shown draped in her vines signifying her control over them....
A couple of other bat rouges also make cameos...
Elias Koteas plays a patient who's face is divided in two not unlike Harvey Dent....

There's a character played by both Emily Mortimer & Patricia Clarkson who is portrayed as a psychiatrist, a nurse and a psychotic killer very much like the Joker's main squeeze Harley Quinn...

and speaking of the Clown Prince of Crime deep in the most secure ward on Shutter Island in a place set aside for only the most terrible and dangerous of inmates there's a facially scared prisoner played by Jackie Earle Haley who's first words to DiCaprio's character are 'That's pretty damn funny...' and who's disfigurement gives him an inhuman 'smile'.....

A central part of the plot is the cryptic 'riddles' which are more that worthy of Edward Nigma....

It is also this riddle that reveals the anagram of our heroes secret identity which he created to deal with his tortured past, on Shutter Island Marshall  Edward Daniels discovers he is actually Andrew Laeddis while on Bat Island Detective Ian Bateman (I am Batman) discovers he's Bruce Wayne. 
And just to keep the game going  in Shutter Island the hero is drawn toward a light house almost like a bat signal...

and the doctors car, a red 1947 Buick Roadmaster has more than a passing resemblance to the first Bat-mobile a red 1936 Cord (although some think it's probably based on a Graham Paige 'Sharknose')....

Coincidence, probably but I'm now going to go read the novel of Shutter Island and decide from there if Denis Lehane sits at his desk typing away wearing nothing more than a cape and cowl.

SCHEME 9's How to fix a Sequel No.2: SPIDERMAN 3

SPIDER-MAN 3
For me the Spider-Man flicks where exactly what I wanted them to be, they where faithful enough to the comics where they had to be (his costume) and the changes they made, made sense (organic webs), but most importantly the story was kept simple. Peter Parker is an ordinary Joe who now because of 'great power has great responsibility' but look out here's the bad guy and this is his dastardly plan but it's OK cause here comes Spider-Man to save the day, simple and classic. Both 1 & 2 where bang on super hero pictures sticking pretty much to the same formula then along came No.3 and almost right away it was common knowledge that it would feature everyone's favorite Spidey villain VENOM what could possibly go wrong, well as it turned out every thing but what if Reimi had stuck to all the little plot elements he had set up in No.2?

the SCHEME 9 fix....

SPIDER-MAN 3
Mary Jane Watson's ex-fiance, astronaut John Jameson is on an Oscorp sponsored space mission when he gets infected by an alien symbiont. He returns to earth and finds that the alien has enhanced him physically and decides to use his new abilities to get revenge on the woman who humiliated him by leaving him at the alter and the man who stole her, Peter Parker. When Jameson attacks the couple the symbiont senses that Peter is super human and so abandons its host a bonds with the more powerful and so more desirable Spider-Man.
Meanwhile Harry Osborn still wanting revenge on everyone's favorite wall crawler hires a ruthless vigilante to hunt him down.....The PUNISHER. This would explain his cameo (played by Thomas Jane) at the end of Spider-Man 2.



With the symbiont making him act out of character the Punisher believes Spider-Man to be a criminal and so mayhem ensues until Peter rejects the symbiont which he returns to OSCORP unaware that Harry knows his secret identity. Seeing that the Punisher has failed and how the alien becomes more powerful when fulled with revenge and rage Harry informs Jameson that Parker is Spider-Man and allows him to bond once again with the symbiont this time becoming VENOM. 
The Punisher realizing that Harry was using him and that Spider-Man is not a criminal teams up with the web head to stop the alien menace and take down Harry Osborn and the alien symbiont.
The film ends with a slow motion shot of a battered and bruised Harry stumbling through an Oscorp lab containing hundreds of synthetic samples of the alien symbiont he falls against sample 13 that glows red and squirms violently, it's containment cylinder cracks and and we get our first brief glimpse of Harry's next incarnation, CARNAGE...the END.

SCHEME 9's How to fix a Sequel No.1: BLADE TRINITY

BLADE TRINITY.
It's generally accepted that where bigger budget more star studded comic book flicks failed, Blade more than succeeded. Then for it's sequel with arguably even less star power it pulled a master stroke by being directed by del Torro which resulted in a cracking picture which again made it more than a match for the more high profile Marvel properties (Sam Reimi's Spiderman was released the same year) but when it came to the 3rd installment the day walking vamp just plain...sucked (I thank you).

the SCHEME 9 fix.......
BLADE : SPIRITS of VENGEANCE.

Two words.......GHOST.....RIDER.  In the comics Blade was a regular guest in Ghostrider (Midnight Sons makes more sense as a title but Spirits of Vengeance sounds a lot cooler) so having the characters meet on the big screen makes sense also in my opinion the Ghostrider character doesn't really work as a Hollywood 'star' attraction (as the Nic Cage flick proved) but team him up with the number 1 vampire hunter (I'd also include Hannibal King) and pit them against an army of demons (not Vampires) led by Dracula (the Marvel version as seen in the Tomb of Dracula comics where Blade made his first appearance.)
Have del Torro return as director and that is big screen comic book gold.