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Wednesday, 27 October 2010

COMING SOON?


For a while now I have wasted much of my precious time keeping an eye on the trends that seem to dictate what projects get made into a money spinning BLOCKBUSTER, and so applying the rules I have observed I'm going to give it a go myself.

Step1: Choose a well loved character from the past, preferably the 80's with instant brand recognition and an established record in profitable merchandise. For my pitch I have chosen the CARE BEARS.

Step2: Hire the best team of writers or failing that hire the ones behind whatever the top rated TV show is at the time and begin to build "BUZZ" off the back of their shows hype.

Step3: Find a director, this can be done in one of two ways either blatantly go for the money and hire Michael Bay or put up some kind of artistic pretense and go for someone like Darren Aronofsky.

Step4: Suck out all the child friendly elements that made the central characters popular in the first place and apply the word "DARK" and or "EDGY" to whatever is left.

Step5: Although the selling point behind the movie are the beloved characters of your audiences youth, two hip young actors must be hired to give the film a human element your audience can relate to. So even though your going to see the CARE BEARS half the flick will be taken up by the relationship between these two actors.

Step6: Milk the fucker for as much as you can because you only have a small window of time before some other money grabbing dick decides to release a big budget version of THUNDERCATS.

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