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Monday, 18 October 2010

WHERE IS MY SUPERMAN?


In a report on filmsactu.com Zack Snyder has said that his Superman flick will concentrate on the man of steels 'early years', wow what a great direction to take, looking at how Clark Kent comes to terms with being the most powerful alien on planet earth......hang on.....wait a minute.....hasn't Smallville been doing the very same thing for almost 10 years now. What is it with Hollywood and comicbook superheros, why are they so unwilling to just cut loose. There is no need to take up the first half hour with an origin story (Fantastic 4, Spider-man...) that even if you don't already know it can't be explained in one short scene and there's no need to dwell on these people agonizing over how hard (or cool) it is that they can, fly, climb walls, pop claws or shoot fire from their dicks. I love good story telling and good characters, but over thought, angst ridden movies about guys in tights have me craving the lowest common denominator. Here is how my Superman movie would play out;

Shot 1: The credits scroll Star Wars style informing the hand full of coma victims who don't already know, who Superman is where he came from and why.
Shot 2: As Clark Kent and Lois Lane make their way through the streets of Metropolis (exchanging witty banter) a sudden bolt of energy rips through the city causing havoc.
Shot 3: amongst the chaos a silence grips the panicking crowds and the entire city looks up to the sky as a vast alien mother ship reveals itself.

(by this point we are at least 5 minuets in to the picture)

Shot 4: Clark runs into a phone box pulling his shirt open to reveal the 'S' symbol and in a flash he emerges in the full classic blue, red and yellow costume and takes to the sky to confront the alien ship.
Shot 5: Inside the ship Lex Luthor informs Brainiac (as seen in Action Comics *868) that his plan has worked and that Superman is on his way.
Shot 6: Brainiac turns to General Zod (dressed in a dark variation of Superman's costume) and tells him to destroy the son of Jor-El.

For the next hour there is nothing more than all out war between Superman and Zod which goes from one side of the solar system to the other during which one or two other heroes (Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter...) show up but fail to stop the Kryptonian rampage which eventually ends with Superman punching Zod through the moon.
The final shot has Superman returning to metropolis, battered and broken but ready to confront the alien ship only to find Metropolis in ruins with Lex Luthor and Brainiac waiting for him with Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen locked in a cage made of Kryptonite and guarded by a 15ft tall Doomsday. the words "to be continued" fill the screen as it fades to black.....the end.

Is that really too much to ask?

2 comments:

  1. Belter... I'd pay to see that over and over again. 'Man of Steel' they're dubbing it - why are we getting Superboy all over again? Pah. Have they learned nothing from Grant Morrison? Give us what we want! Pure, distilled Superman!

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